Back to Square One- Part II - The Answers

When I look at the personal profile of the girl you wrote about, all I can see is A’s and A+ all the way through, with occasional B’s at some places (afterall no one is perfect). A job in a reputed MNC, a five figure salary, confident to survive the tough world out there, time management (afterall she can take out time to read books and enjoy), now any guy who does not like her would be a pure fool (she has all the selling points for an institution called marriage). A girl who can be best at what she does in her office and then can go out and rock the world on a Friday evening and above all can differentiate between vodka and martini (I can’t do that), and still likes to have some time off, some quality time to herself, hats off to her. Sounds like my dream girl. Does GOD still makes such girls? Definitely she has learnt how to live without anyone’s help, and does not need any guy, or even a girl for that matter to fulfill her dreams. The only thing that I see missing in her life is marriage, to make her life perfect (only if we go according to what happens in the life of millions of us). But instead of accepting marriage as a fate she steps forward and ask the world “why do I need to get married”. No, she does not need to get married. Definitely not to be helped when she is sick, not to help her shopping, not for emotional support, not for material pleasures, and not even to have babies.
For me the nuptial tie is the best thing that can ever happen to any human being. Just for the sake of Maya, lets not call it marriage but just companionship, the act of living together legally.It does not make any difference if we get married or not, but still we do it just for the sake of our society. Somehow whenever two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together, they need to tell this world out loudly that they are together now, together in all aspects of life. May be people don’t tend to listen without a big party, a lot of dance and music, gifts and the endless rituals which are all the part of the package. Furthermore our society also needs a name for every relationship (when we can give names to our pets, our cars, our house then why not to a relation), so they tend to call this act of companionship for life – “marriage”. I know to Maya it is still not a convincing argument, but hey life is never a win-win situation. Sometimes you just have to accept some things as facts. I too never understand why do I need to shave and dress up nicely always, but still have to do it occasionally, not for myself but for the sake of people around me.
Now lets get to the important question which is haunting her, why does she have to get married or live with someone? She does not need to get married to ‘survive’ in this world but she needs to get married to ‘live’ in this world. In spite of all the doubts I am sure there is someone whom she likes. When she comes back home from work she cannot be bothered to see another human being, but she definitely needs to come back home for a comforting hug. Come back home for the company of someone who will not bother her with what she did right or wrong during the day but instead will help her loosen up and forget that she has to make that damned presentation. Come back home to be with someone who loves her smile more than anything else.
Her company and her workmates takes care of her when she is sick, but there has to be someone who makes sure she takes her medicies on time. Someone who will be there by her side to offer her tissues when she is suffering from a terrible flu. Someone who won’t mind getting up in the middle of the night to give her water. And he will do all this because he wants her to enjoys their time together and wants to see her smiling again. Ulike her company who helps her to make sure she gets back to the office at the earliest since their work suffers from her absence.
She spends 10 hrs at work and at the end of the day all she can offer is a glum face for her partner but she is forgetting that her partner can manage to make her smile again. She will manage to spend a few hours over the weekend with him and make him experience that terrible smell of her fart, her loud snoring, show him her birth marks and may be have awesome sex. she might manage to have some happy moments in those few hours over the week end and some terrible ones too. But remember he will be the one who will be with her when she turn 80 and will be able to discuss all those memories with him over and over again when her company and team mates won’t be with her anymore. Isn’t that love?
Being together with someone will help her to ignore the dark things in life. Together they will manage to sparkle like stars in the dark night sky full of fused bulbs. She might be able to share a lot with her so called friends at work but will they be the happiest people in the world to see her success? Will they help her cry your heart’s content when she is sad? Will they give her support when she is all weak? Will they be willing to leave their work and be with you when you need them? I guess not. But her partner will make sure he is with her. He will listen to all she has accomplished even though he knows nothing about her field of work.
She knows the meaning of emotional dependence and the chemistry that is shared with the partner but is still confused? She knows what is right and what is wrong morally but still is trying to mix it with being practical? Her life seems to be going on in black and white but that someone will help her fill colours in them. She looks at the world in through the fogged up glass of practicality, going by the dictionary meaning of words. She thinks her life is imbalanced but that’s just because she is looking at one face of the coin and refuses to flip it. She knows she needs to be with someone but refuses to accept it, just because it does not look to be logical and practical. How can such a girl with strong personality be so week? Why cant she flip the coin and look at the other side of the world? Why cant she accept the fact the is someone somewhere who likes her to be practicle and respects her thoughts and freedom? She has no issues with being with someone but refuses to call it being married for the sake of society? Believe me Maya she can do all this and she will be very happy doing it, she wont regret it.
I hope she does not think marriage as a big bang or a black hole. I hope she does not think that by marrying someone she opened the pandora’s box of troubles but instead she opened the dorrway to Alis’ wonderland. Together they can fulfill all the fantasies they have always dreamt of, they will manage to do make the other one do what they are meant to be doing best apart from what they do for a living. Everyone has a wish-list they want to do but being together with someone they can open their wish- list and do all that which their colleagues and friends cant help them do.
So will she marry this Someone and be with him when she is 80?