She came early - way too early. Was it the excitement of the meeting or was it the fear that she might waste a few precious seconds out of the long awaited evening, is unclear. But whatever it was she was there at 5:00 PM when she was supposed to be there at 6:00 PM. But then that did not bother her much. She could certainly walk around-for this was the old part of the city where she had never been before. If not that she had got herself a book to kill the time. She messages "I have already reached" and gets back to sightseeing, walking, calming...whatever.
The walk and the fresh air certainly calmed her jumpy self. When suitably tired and calm she chose an open air restaurant and settled down there with the book and coffee. The sky was clouded and the last rays of the sun peaked out from behind them. It smelt like rain..she looked at the clouds and then at the watch. Still 20 minutes to go...for the clock to strike 6:00 and maybe for the rains to beat down. Wait and watch.
15 minutes later she was still on the same page of the book...her eyes were oscillating between the watch and the mobile. Any moment now....The clouds were overhead but the strong winds were blowing them off. Maybe it wont rain after all....maybe it will rain when he is here....
At 6:00 sharp she turned off her mobile...it was almost if she would burst out if the mobile would ring. He knew the place unlike her and if she was to tell him her location it would be a really simple task for him to spot her. An "out of network" mobile was a good excuse for her to spot him first and thus have that advantage of studying him for a while and then pouncing upon him....surprising him, confusing him and seeing those first expressions while appearing composed all the time.
6:05.....6:10....6:12....6:13.....6:18...still no sign of him. She debated between switching on her mobile and calling him asking about his whereabouts. One part of her was still wanting to keep the mobile off...but then on a sudden anxious whim she switched it on. No missed calls. No new incoming calls. More anxious she checks on the network (its there) and then decides to call him. No message him. Oh no call him...after 5 minutes of this debate cum fight in her head she keeps the phone(switched on) aside and gets back to the book. After all a big guy like him can't get lost in a known place plus he being a guy(that too who comes in for a meeting late) should have the decency to call and explain....
But then today isn't one of those days when the book can hold her attention for long. Looking at the rain drenched clouds she wonders if he has been caught in the rain elsewhere. The excitement of the meeting is draining off to be replaced by tiredness. It 6:39 now. Heights....she toys with the mobile again only to keep it aside after a while.
With nothing else to think about her mind goes back to all those mails and chats and blog posts and opinions (sometimes unwanted ones) that they had shared in the last 3 years. They had fought and then said sorry's (most of the times not meaning sorry at all). He had called her a highhanded rebellious spoilt brat and she had blamed him for being cynical and a skeptic but yet this relationship had survived the tides of time....maybe just in the hope of this one meeting. A sudden burst of lightening draws her back to the present and then almost immediately she is carried back to the lines she had read somewhere a few days back...
That august evening, half wet
with parting monsoon spill
We met like strangers
or strangers to be ?
It was dark and dull
n all I saw
Was the glitter in your eyes
through the line of Kohl
Your fingers filled
the spaces between mine
Couldn't hold 'em for long
my fault...
Did you hear me
as we hugged
To hold each other
and everything in between...
"Everything in between"...every time she read/recalled those words it left her with a cold shudder. Did they have something in between? Or was it all just an illusion of nothingness? After all neither of them was single since the last couple of months....the last some days had seen frayed tempers and abrupt ends to conversations. "Clouds had gathered between us as well", she thinks....Almost on the cue the lighting strikes again...this time the grumble of the clouds is louder.
She looks again at her watch. 5 minutes to 7:00PM. Enough. Before second thoughts can engulf her in confusion and egoism she dials his number. 1 ring...2 ring...on the third one he picks up. "Thank God you called...I was wondering as to what happened to you. She wants to ask "Then why the hell didn't you call?" but then changes the question at the last minute "How long would you take?". He replies "I am almost there....just paying the autowallah...I got caught in the beastly traffic...see you in 2 minutes..."As he disconnects the phone she hears her heart thump...Finally...
At dot 7:00PM that August evening she gets to see him. Late by an hour or a lifetime...it didn't matter. He has come dressed in jeans and a "cool" white trendy t-shirt, which is exactly opposite of the persona he has projected. She looks at her own getup...jeans but with a serious kurti and intricately done stole complete with the bindi and sindur. That so unlike me....and him as well. "So there are going to be a lot of lies in this one evening..." is her last thought before she waves him over.
They sit and start to talk, without a preamble. The traffic and the rain (which arrived 7minutes after him) discussion come first followed by coffee and sandwiches still followed by work and city and people around. Nothing serious. Casual stuff...like they do on chat shows. Conversation dressed to sound interesting and thoughtful but far removed from reality All smiles no tears. Liars....
An hour and a half later when the rain has subsided into a drizzle, they decide that its the time to leave and say goodbye. No questions are asked....do we meet again, did you like this first meeting, why have the last few days been like what-they-have-been and things like that. After all neither of them was a descendant of Raja Harishchandra to ask questions with real answers. A much awaited evening gone lightly with the breeze. On one hand that thought relaxes her (she would'nt have wanted to fight then and there) and on the other it saddens her (Lies, lies and lies....)
Its only when that she is going to sit in the auto that he keeps his hand over her head and says "take care". She smiles at this one reality and tangibility and before the realization can sink in the auto is moving. A the U turn there is a red light and she sees his back profile-him walking in the other direction. An image to be carried...forever....and then again the lines resonate in her head..
I am a note
on a piece of paper
clipped
hanged till death
You are a note
floating in the air
free from the grips
of life or death
And in between
are empty spaces
unsung
unheard...
PS : Both the poems have been borrowed from the blog http://the-eternal-traveller.blogspot.com and are the original works of Gopal Mishra
