Redemption

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Mrs. Sinha?
Anuja: Sure, but may I know who is on line?
Caller: This is Doctor Mishra…and I assume you are Mrs. Sinha’s daughter?
Anuja: Yes, I am…hold on the line, I will just call mummy…

Saying this Anuja yelled out “Mummy, mummy, call for you…from some Doctor Mishra” Keeping the phone down she headed back to the saas-bahu serial to which she was addicted to. After about a minute Mrs Sinha comes over the line.

Mrs Sinha: Yes, Mrs Sinha here…who is on line?
Caller : Hello Mrs Sinha…this is Doctor Mishra…I am a professor of Vedic Mathematics in Delhi University and practice astrology, allopathy and some related sciences side by side. Mr. Aditya Sinha, from Kanpur…he is an old client…he passed me your number….
Mrs Sinha (surprised): Mr. Aditya Sinha? Kanpur? I am not aware of anyone by that name…
Caller: Maybe your husband…he knows him…from what he told me your mother-in-law is bedridden since the last 11 months…and she is neither getting any better nor worse…right? Mrs Sinha (a bit edgy): Yes, you are right, but I still do not understand what has this to do with you.
Caller: Well, you see not everything can be cured by medicines-as under the influence of the West we all have come to believe. There are things that are outside the physical world that can explain life, death and sickness.I can perform some puja-paath depending on the planetary positions and that can either make her better or….release her from this world…Of course it’s your wish if you want me to undertake this exercise…
Mrs Sinha (thoughtful): Well it has been a strain all along to be truthful. Both I and my husband are working and my daughter she studies in a different city and is here only during vacations and we need someone 24 hours for Mataji. She seems to be fine…except that she cannot move out of her bed and cannot speak. I am not even sure if she recognizes us…its like her body is alive but the brain is dead… Even the doctors have given up…I do not know what to say to you...let me speak to my husband about this…
Caller: Mrs Sinha, you have nothing to lose. I do not charge money because my guruji told me that I will lose my Vidya the day I commercialize it. I look into the past and the future and based on that will tell you how to set things right…
Mrs Sinha: Hmmm…ok…so is there anything that you need from me? Would you want to come here?
Caller: No I don’t need to come…just tell me the names and DOBs of all the siblings of your husband and then tomorrow I will call you back.
Mrs Sinha: Sure…my husband is the single child of his parents and his date of birth is 14 June 1957.
Caller: Thank you…Is your father in law there? Does your mother in law communicates with him or is there someone else whom she really likes to be around…u know what I mean…?
Mrs Sinha: No, Dr. Mishra, my father in law passed about a year ago and it’s since then that she is in such a state….Well there is no one in particular she likes…as I said, I am not even sure if she recognizes us…
Caller: Oh…ok…I guess that should suffice. I shall call you in case I have any more questions
Mrs Sinha: Thank you…is there some number where I can reach you out?
Caller: Hmmm…you won’t need that since I will call you back…but if you insist its 011-234988. It’s my direct number. Home Landline…
Mrs Sinha: Thanks a lot…I shall be really grateful if you can help us in some way…I think she will not get any better now, being 80+ but its painful to see her…if you can help in getting salvation…mukti….
Caller: No worries, I will do my best. Namaste.
Mrs Sinha: Namaste and thank you once again.

That evening when Mr. Sinha is back from office Mrs Sinha recounts the whole conversation. Mr. Sinha is obviously surprised about the whole thing especially when he is unaware of an Aditya Sinha from Kanpur. True, a lot of his family is there but Aditya? Maybe the son of one of his relatives…he decides. He knows most of them by their nicknames…And this doctor? Doctor Mishra… “There is no harm…since he is not charging… lets see what he has to say…”, he tells his wife and gets back to the television.

On the second day at around 4:00 PM the landline at Sinha’s rings again. Mrs Sinha rushes over, hearing the bell of a STD call.

Mrs. Sinha: hello?
Caller: Hello, Mrs Sinha…this is Dr. Mishra…we spoke yesterday about your mother-in-law…
Mrs Sinha: Yes, yes, I remember of course…so what were you able to find?
Caller: Mrs. Sinha, I shall be brutally frank with you and I must point out that I do not have much of good news…What I am going to tell you…is based on my readings of your husband’s kundali and introspections into the past…but then I cannot say that I am 100% accurate…its just a suggestion..
Mrs Sinha (impatient and a bit fearfully): Ok, go on…I do understand…
Caller: First of all, your mother in law…she cannot get better from here onwards. Death is the only exit for her….Sorry about that…
Mrs Sinha (sounding relieved): No need to be sorry…I understand that one cannot hope much at her age….
Caller: Now listen carefully…it seems that her aatma refuses to leave the body because she is paying a penance for her son’s sins.
Mrs Sinha: What…I don’t think I really understand you….
Caller: Well…it might hurt you a bit but looks like that your husband hurt someone…and the person concerned hasn’t really forgiven him…hurt someone very badly…someone who has been scarred for a lifetime…
Mrs Sinha: Whaaaaaaat? I don’t believe you…it’s impossible for a person like him to hurt someone…forget about scarring someone for a lifetime.
Caller: Mrs Sinha, I do understand your predicament. Believing what I say is your prerogative…I will not force you on anything. A good idea will be to check with Mr. Sinha…instead of keeping this to yourself…
Mrs Sinha (angry now): I don’t trust a word of what you say…
Caller: Madam, calm down please. As I said I might be wrong. You can forget me and this call and continue with your life as usual. On the other hand it’s only human to err. It might be possible that the mistake might have been done unknowingly and now mataji is paying penance for it.
Mrs Sinha: Hmmm….ok…listen I have to attend to something and cannot talk right now. Thanks for your help and concern. Namaste.
Caller: I understand. Namaste…

Mrs Sinha bangs down the phone angrily and Anuja who is sitting right there looks up worried, “What happened mom? All ok? Who was on line?” Mrs Sinha looks up for a few seconds and as if lost somewhere. Then in a hurry she replies “Nothing. Just a call from one of my colleagues…” With this she escapes to the kitchen.

When Mr. Sinha returns from work he finds his usually loud wife silent. It’s a relief from normal to return to a silent home – something he still found soothing after 18 years of marriage so he doesn’t question much on that subject. Instead he proceeds to his usual work – bath, puja, dinner followed by a short walk around the neighborhood where he just observed the women…Not with the eyes of a criminal but normally…after all “looking” wasn’t a crime. Especially when the women were unaware…They all respected him and noone knew about this small “hobby” of his….

That night Mrs Sinha lay awake for a long time. She wanted to ask her husband about the call but then something stopped her. The innate knowledge that something sinister awaited her. Every time she opened her mouth she was reminded of the words of the caller “your husband hurt someone…and the person concerned hasn’t really forgiven him…hurt someone very badly…someone who has been scarred for a lifetime…” Each time her mind recalled this statement she would tell herself that it couldn’t be something really big. Maybe he did not give the wages of one of the farmers who worked on his lands in the village. Maybe he did not pay a shopkeeper….maybe this, maybe that…small things that most human beings revert to, when no one’s watching. But then her mind would again recall the words and this loop repeated itself n number of times. She kept turning and tossing in bed so much so that Mr. Sinha was forced to ask her in the middle of the night if she was all right…To this Mrs Sinha replies with a grunt and “What would happen to me?” and then a bit later she asks “Were you able to find something about Aditya Sinha? Who is he and all?” Mr. Sinha reverts “Oh you are still thinking about all that? No I did not bother to… But why are you asking…did someone call again?” “No…just like that..,” was all Mrs Sinha replies back. End of conversation.

The third day in the afternoon Mrs Sinha is still wondering about the whole thing. Plus she is feeling sorry that she had ended the conversation so abruptly with that caller who so ever he was (Dr Mishra…she reminds herself). She should have atleast investigated a bit more…And then suddenly she remembers that there was a number that the Dr. Mishra had given. She decides to call him up…atleast if nothing else it would give her a chance to talk about the whole thing. She hadn’t shared this with anyone and it was gnawing at her mind…She dials in the number and holds her breath…what will she say? What if he is unwilling to talk after her rude behaviour yesterday? She waits for the phone to ring but is disappointed to hear “The number you are trying to reach does not exist…” So there is nothing she could do…

At exactly 6:00 PM in the evening the phone rings. It’s Dr Mishra again. “Thank god, he called” she tells herself. Aloud she says “Namaste, doctor sahib”
Caller: Namaste…I hope you are in a better mood than yesterday…did I disturb you much?
Mrs Sinha: No no it’s ok…I was a bit surprised by the whole thing…Sorry if I sounded rude…infact today afternoon I tried to call you up...but looks like the number you gave me does not exist…
Caller (a bit hesitantly): Hmmm…might be…but don’t you worry…since you are my client I can call you. And I do understand your rudeness and surprise. Even I would be if someone called me and told me something like that…
Mrs Sinha: Hmmm…
The conversation comes to a standstill here for a few seconds with both the parties wondering what to say…
Caller: So? Do you believe me?
Mrs Sinha: Well, to be frank I don’t. But yes I do as well…I cannot say anything unless you tell me something more concrete.
Caller: I understand. So does that mean you did not question Mr. Sinha over this?
Mrs Sinha: No I didn’t…what would I ask? A list of crimes he has committed over a lifetime? That for sure sounds like a stupid question to me…
Caller: Sure it does…but then instead of asking him you can just refer him our conversation from yesterday and ask him to do a penance for what ever wrong he did. That should suffice…noone needs to know what he did and why he did. All of us are entitled to do some wrongs…right?
Mrs Sinha: Hmmm…what kind of penance?
Caller: Say sorry to the person he has hurt.
Mrs Sinha: Hmmm…ok…but can you tell me something more about what he has done? I have been wondering ever since our last conversation what all wrongs can an ordinary man do?
Caller: I can’t be sure…and the best would be if you ask him and not me…
Mrs Sinha: But then with all your knowledge and insight for sure you can tell me something…
Caller: Err…no…ask him instead.
Mrs Sinha: Looks like you are concealing something…
Caller: No…I am no God…to give out verdicts…I can just say that someone was hurt…and…
Mrs Sinha: and?
Caller: and…are you sure you want to hear that?
Mrs Sinha: Yes yes, please…and?
Caller: …and the person who was hurt was a girl…
Mrs Sinha: Girl? What do you mean?
Caller: Nothing…as I said the person hurt was a girl…
Mrs Sinha: Anything else?
Caller: No
Mrs Sinha (thoughtfully): Ok…
The conversation again comes to a standstill.
Caller: I guess I should disconnect now. I have other clients waiting for my call. I have just a word of advice for you Mrs Sinha…I know when I say a girl your mind would be making some images that would be horrible. But then instead of thinking; ask Mr. Sinha…it might not be something what you are thinking…and if at all you ask Mr Sinha…be gentle…I am sure he has been a good husband and a great father…
Mrs Sinha (controlling herself with difficulty): Hmmm…
Caller: Ok then…Namaste
Mrs Sinha (in a whisper): Namaste
The line gets disconnected in her hand…but it is after nearly ten minutes that Mrs Sinha keeps it back on the cradle.

That night after the lights have been switched off and they are in their bed, Mrs Sinha decides to talk. After all somethings are said better in the darkness than in light…atleast none of them would need to format their facial expressions whatever they may be.

Mrs Sinha: Are you awake? I wanted to discuss something.
Mr Sinha: Yes I am…go on…
Mrs Sinha: I got that call from Dr. Mishra again today…
Mr Sinha: Oh is it? What did he say about Amma?
Mrs Sinha (wondering as to why he is asking about Amma…the conversation had made her forget where all it had started): Amma?
Mr Sinha: Yes…he was supposed to tell us how to make her better….or….
Mrs Sinha: Oh yes…He said something strange…
Mr Sinha: Like?
Mrs Sinha: He said that she is suffering because she is paying the price of your sins…you did something wrong…hurt someone…badly
Mr Sinha: My sins? Hurt someone? Nonsense!! And you believed him?
Mrs Sinha: No I didn’t but…
Mr Sinha: But what? In the first place I do not believe in all this mumbo jumbo. Plus I never heard of anyone telling about someone’s sins and penances by looking at the date and time of birth of another person. This guy is sure phony…
Mrs Sinha: Might be…but then its human to hurt…anyone can do that…
Mr Sinha: Oh I see he has brainwashed you…I expected better out of you…Anyways what else this Dr. Mishra had to say?
Mrs Sinha: That you scarred the person for a lifetime. And the person was a girl
(A long silence)
Mr Sinha: I don’t believe a word of this… (A bit angrily) Did this guy leave a number? I think I need to call him and tell him to mind his own business…otherwise I am going to report him in the police
Mrs Sinha (raising her voice): I won’t let you do that. I have the number but I won’t give it…I am sure you are scared
Mr Sinha mumbles something and silence falls in the darkness. A void like silence. Both of them are wide awake and wondering. Mr Sinha is a worried man now. He decides he must find out immediately who has been calling…who is Doctor Mishra and this Aditya Sinha. All night long he wonders what all wrongs he has done to his relatives in Kanpur…but no girl appears in the picture.

The next day at exact 10 AM Mr Sinha is at the telephone exchange to get the number from which the poison calls were being made. His wife has been quiet all morning but that kind of silence scares him…He must put an end to this…whether the caller is saying the truth or just blackmailing…In half an hour he has the number +4414128916093. What kind of number was that? All he could guess was that the call was not being made from India...Back to office he looks up the ISD codes in the diary but is unable to figure out a thing. He calls on the number again and again but the call doesn’t get through. Strange…He checks casually with a couple of his colleagues but noone is able to tell him about the number. He calls his relatives in Kanpur and discreetly enquires about Aditya Sinha. Noone has a clue and he is left without a trail. His heart stressed out he leaves for home early that evening.

Within 10 minutes of his entering the house, the phone rings. Since his wife is in the kitchen he picks up. The line goes silent. His wife rushes in the room and she looks at him probably for the first time since morning. The phone rings again…he picks up…again silence. This happens for the third and the fourth time as well. Each time his wife looks accusingly at him. Finally when the phone rings for the fifth time he screams into it “Who the hell are you? And what do you want? Listen you have no right to bother us like that…and the next time if I get a call be assured you would be dead” Bang. He looks angrily at his wife who returns the look in an equal measure.

Over the next few days the atmosphere at home is of cold war. Mr Sinha tries hard to find the whereabouts of the number but he is unsuccessful. Finally, he does what he deems best. He gets a new Tata Indicom set over Diwali and gets the landline disconnected. Prevention is better than cure. His wife had been asking him to get a cordless phone and instead he got her a new connection a new number. Wasn’t that good enough…especially with the great features on the Tata phone…His wife eyes him…but says nothing. “Guilty conscience” she tells herself. He needn’t have done that…Dr Mishra hadn’t called ever after their last conversation…

With a period of time things get back to normal. 6 months go by and there are no more calls. Mr Sinha’s mother remains the same- hanging between life and death- neither getting any worse or better. Even Mrs Sinha decides that the whole thing was a dirty game. Someone was trying to destroy their peace…Meanwhile a lot of marriage proposals were coming in for Anuja and they get busy with all that…

Then one day Mr. Sinha receives a note early in the morning outside the main gate of his house tied to a stone. He opens and is shocked to read it. It was a typed note which said “DO NOT THINK I HAVE FORGIVEN OR FORGOTTEN YOU. SAY IT YOURSELF TO YOUR WIFE OR….” He is shaken…so he is still being tracked…and that too closely (the paper tied to the stone being the testimony). The poison caller was some where nearby in flesh and blood…All day long he is unable to concentrate on his work and keeps staring at the note. The next day morning there is another one “REMEMBER HOW GOOD IT FEELS WHEN YOU KILL THE VIRGINITY OF AN INNOCENT TRUSTING CHILD? YOUR DAUGHTER IS 10 YEARS OLDER NOW TO WHAT I WAS THEN…” He froze. He knew now who was writing these notes…but those people and the “girl” in question had moved out of the town ages ago. He did not even have their contact. Even if he had, what will he do? But then how come the notes were being delivered at his doorstep? Someone else knew as well…

That night he decides to keep a watch for the stone thrower. In the morning there is no note and he is worried. What if it comes after he has left for work? His wife….He decides to take a leave from work. No notes appear. The next day at office he is shocked to find 2 notes slipped under the door of his cabin “WHY DON’T YOU DO ALL THAT SWEET TALK YOU DID BEFORE TOUCHING ME TO YOUR DAUGHTER? AFTER ALL YOU CALLED ME YOUR DAUGHTER AS WELL” and “HAHA…I LIKE THAT EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE…SITTING BY THE WINDOW ALL NIGHT LONG WAITING FOR ME WILL NOT SAVE YOU” Perspiration appears on his forehead. What can he do?

The next morning it’s “ARE YOU GOING TO TELL YOUR WIFE OR SHOULD I TELL YOUR DAUGHTER? WOULDN’T IT BE BETTER IF SHE IS TREATED THE SAME WAY LIKE YOU TREATED ME? YOU ANIMAL?” That was more than he can handle. Immediately he tells Anuja not to leave the house at any cost. Both Anuja and her mother are surprised at the sudden dictate. They question him but there is nothing he can answer. Finally both of them decide that it’s more out of anxiety over a marriageable daughter and decide to ignore it.

The poison notes continued. Each day bringing a new horror- sometimes explaining how he his teeth had left bluish marks on her body, how she had bled severely and after he had left her all alone she had become unconscious, how his “fatherly love” had sent her in a state of shock, that she had been unable to protest- muted during the course of action. On other days, there were threats to harm his daughter. Mr Sinha felt like a wingless bird. He knew who was doing all this but there was no way he could reach out to the person. There was no way he could complain of blackmail. There was no way he could confide in anyone. He tried to hold Anuja back at home to avoid any harm coming her way but she did not understand his apprehensions. Who would? Even he had forgotten about the whole incident long ago. It was almost 12 years ago…Overcome with lust; in his wife’s absence (she was away for the whole day to meet one of the relatives who lived in the same city) he had sweet talked the child into taking an afternoon nap with him. The child who was his neighbour and whose parents were at work. The child was a only a bit older than Anuja. The child who treated Anuja like her own sister. Even he hadn’t intended anything more than fondling but then one thing had followed another and before he knew he was over the naked girl with blood all around them; even as Anuja had slept right there beside them. She hadn’t said a thing and he had assumed that she had enjoyed it. He had helped her clean the mess and then offered her a chocolate. All through she hadn’t said a word and he hadn’t really bothered. The next day on finding a chance he had done it again….this time it was more out of greed to repeat the heavenly experience than any need. This time the child had tried to fight back silently…but it was so easy to overpower her. Once done, he had again got her a chocolate but then she had thrown it back on his face and said “I will complain that you have been doing unpleasant things to me” Instantly he was aware that this was a problem. He had tried to reason with her explaining that no wrong was done….infact it was her duty to help someone in “need”. He had bribed her, cajoled her and once even threatened her. But then he had quickly gained back his composure and ultimately had promised that he would do anything for her in his life if she kept her mouth shut. She had. He had been scared in the beginning but then with passing time he had decided that the child must have forgotten. Until…

He was sitting on his desk with the notes in front of him. The latest one was asking him to fulfill his promise of “doing anything for her”. She wanted him to tell his wife. He couldn’t. More than the shame it would bring he was afraid of the fact that he would be a laughing stock…after 15 years of marriage…what would Anuja say? Oh no, there was no way he could say a thing. But the next note gave him the ultimatum. “I GIVE YOU 48 HOURS…TELL YOUR WIFE OR I WOULD DO THAT” He was for sure scared but then like the other notes this one seemed an empty threat. After all nothing had happened to Anuja in the last few days…But then in the evening when they were drinking tea, the phone had rung…the Tata phone he had bought over Diwali. His wife, who was sitting next to the phone, had received it. He had heard snatches of conversation but that was enough to make his blood freeze. “Namaste, Doctor Mishra…it has been a long time. How have you been…you never called after that…aah…Mr Sinha got this Tata number…your number was unreachable…yes yes everything is all right…Amma is much the same…looks like you were wrong…Hahaha…yes yes of course” With this she hands over the phone to Mr Sinha, even as he watches with horror “Dr Mishra…remember the one who called about Amma…he wants to speak to you” In slow motion he had put the phone at his ear and said “Hello?” “31 hours more you @$%%^. Don’t forget that I am counting the seconds” the caller had said. And then the phone had got disconnected. Mrs Sinha had asked what he had said…but Mr Sinha did not reply. Later when some guests had come he hadn’t joined for tea. He hadn’t joined for dinner. Or for sleep…or anything.

2 days later the local newspaper had carried the story on the second page. “Man commits suicide after taking sleeping pills” Mr. Narender Sinha, 46 committed suicide by consuming sleeping pills. He is survived by his wife and daughter. It seems that Mr Sinha had planned this since he has written three different notes, one addressed to the police mentioning that he has taken the extreme step under full awareness and noone should be held responsible for his actions. The other notes are addressed to his wife and daughter. Mr Sinha’s mother who has been on bed since long has gone into a coma ever since the incident.

Mrs Sinha read through as tears stream down her eyes. She still didn’t know the whole story. But then she had enough clues. From the note that her husband had left for her. “…………..This is the penance for the sin I did. What that Doctor had said was true….Hope you will forgive me….” With this note she had found another note typed in bold tied on a piece of paper “12 YEARS AGO I LET YOU GO BECAUSE YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDED YOU. IN MY EYES YOU WERE A FATHER FIRST AND THEN A RAPIST. IF I HAD REPORTED THEN, SOMEONE WOULD HAVE ENTERED YOUR BROKEN HOME AND DONE THE SAME TO ANUJA….REMEMBER SIX HOURS MORE- THAT IS ALL”

A week later Mrs Sinha’s mother-in-law took the same destination as her son, her aatma released from the worldly sins of her son (more of her son than her own- if Doctor Mishra was to be believed). A couple of days later; a girl from distant past had called Mrs Sinha. They had been neighbours until 8 years ago, after which the girl’s family had moved to another city and they had lost touch. She had expressed sympathy over what had happened to Mr Sinha, without asking a single question. And had even suggested some guys for marriage for Anuja smiling as she had said “Mr Sinha was like my own father…I can never forget how nice he has been to me…so in his absence it becomes my duty to help you fill yours and his obligations towards Anuja…After all she is like my own younger sister”