Until tomorrow

I love you - not for what you are, nor for what I am when I am with you. But for what I feel- the power I have over you. Of being able to play you like a puppet. Ah, this is such a satiating feeling to watch you forget the world; or rather make me "the world". The world- from which you arrive at the end of the work day-hungry and hungry. Hungry for food, hungry for me. Me first-.The moment the door bell rings I can already feel you all over me. No formalities, no lengthy procedures. I open the door and we start right there-even before you can step in. The rest of the stuff follows later- even closing the door.

As you take the short nap, hungry beside me (the first hunger conqured the time and space of the second one) I smile. My body shivers at the thought of how every day our senses dissolve each other- we annihilate ourselves. Its just the MOMENT that we live into- prolonging it as our wet forms slap against each other. It is for this moment that we seperate from each other every day-for the moment of the moment by the moment. Period. A period of moments.

They say love knows no boundaries- I say lust knows no reason. But then what is it that keeps us burning day in and day out? Love or Lust? Or both? I dont know. All I know is when we are together for those few moments we forget everything- no stray thoughts dissect our pleasure- no wives, no husbands, no kids, no work, no cares, no concerns not even the hunger for food (I know you are hungry because of those rumblings my ear hears when it lies against your chest).These we save for the later part of the day to be shared with our better halfs- when we get back to our original lives. Real lives. At this moment, I touch you- to see if you are real.

We dont speak- in all those past 7 months we haven't spoken a word to each other- we don't share our lives- those small pleasures are again saved for the better halfs (we try to be as fair as possible). Now that I think of it- it seems to me like a ritual- the ritual of pouncing on each other away from everyone- even away from ourselves. A ritual we repeat daily no matter what. We had met on the bus from office- both of us took the same bus from work each day. Our eyes had acknowledged each other and often we stood pressed against one another in the crowded vehicle. I hated this but with you it was different. You stood like a rock- with you around I could be sure that noone could get close to me- you felt like home. This had continued till me and my husband had gone on a vacation.On coming back I saw the look in your eyes- of pleasure to have the partner back- of relief and a thousand other emotions. That day had decided my destiny- I had slipped the chit "23 Pine Road - Sunday 11 AM" in your hands. No words then- no words on the following Sunday you came and no words even now.....

You move a bit....time to break the nap and go back to the world you come from. I cuddle closer- our breaths coming in a rythm- hitting each other and then going back- like ping pong. Like a well oiled machinery our hills and valleys fit into each other. Its a torture to let you go....but have to.....because what we do each day is not us...its someone else...its a reality away from reality...... It would be easy to see and think of us as married- but marriage is not for us. Marriage is boring(in some ways) and none of us want to be bored again. That too after breaking apart so many lives and so much of happiness. Not worth.

You get up now- kiss my forehead and proceed to put on the clothes that lay in a mess all around. Like everyday I lay wrapped in a sheet- watching you. You run your hands through your hair and then with one last look at me you are gone. Just like that- no goodbyes, no alvidas.

Until tomorrow.....................